Lydia is walking!  Really walking…chasing all of us around the house and being chased herself.  The boys are amazed and curious to know how a baby is able to walk.  Realize that she is nearly two, but she is still a baby in their eyes…that’s about to change.

Tonight, David and I got out and went to a marriage and family Q&A at out church.  I was so excited getting ready for our “date”.  It was a date to me, because we would be without the kids for a couple of hours!  My friend, Taylor, has been watching my sons while I take Lydia to the Bell Center for therapy.  She graciously offered to watch the guys again tonight during our outing.  David’s parents watched Lydia.  So we were foot loose and fancy free.

This was the first time we had been to church since Easter.  I was so glad to be in community with other adults.  A friend came up to me and began talking about Tucker Beam.  She was so touched by Tucker’s life and his parents.  How Courtney and Jason are such beacons of light and hope.  My friend was glowing and beaming with seeing Jesus in them. 

I burst into tears.  I know your not surprised, right?  The survivors guilt hit me all over again.  As she was talking about Tucker’s beautiful story, I had flashbacks of crying out to Jesus to please take her NOW.  I am so thankful that He didn’t.  So, so thankful.  Words cannot express how I feel…for our past and other’s present.  I still don’t know how to come to terms with “what now Lord?”  My friend was talking about a book she was reading about EVERYTHING is for Jesus’ glory.  Everything.  I cannot comprehend the hows and whys.  I am glad that God is in control and I am not.

I loved talking about the Beams, better than anything else tonight.  I am so thankful for friends who aren’t afraid to talk about how such incomprehensible things impact their lives so deeply.  I am thankful that the incomprehensible things are used for His glory.

Lord, please be with the Beams and Brittains tonight and every night.  Let them sleep in your peace and wake up walking in your light.

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